welp, we’re most definitely going to go to a thing on wednesday. an undetermined number of her friends are going. i sort of know one of them.
under normal circumstances, as long as i know one person in a group i’m able to interact like a fellow human being. but since it’s basically her i know, and not that well at that, i’m probably going to fail unless she’s good at smoothing things over socially, which is something i’m betting on.
i figure it makes more sense just to run with her crowd than to complicate things by inviting my own friends over. integrating friend groups is rather difficult in between groups of 3 each, or like, 6 each. some arbitrary number. if the groups are big enough they can fragment into smaller groups. if the groups are small enough then it works out. but there’s this range in the medium where it’s neither small nor large enough to work out comfortably and i’d rather avoid that.
oh well, the second to the last time my social circle expanded, it was a couple of people making headway into my social circles. the last time my social circle expanded, people have sort of trickled into my sphere or mine into theirs so it works out. this is going to be the first time in awhile where the shoe is on the other foot, where i’m the one who has to fit into someone else’s social circle, and this time the person in question is hardly an acquaintance. and i’m soooo good in those situations.
oh well. considering the imposition i’ve placed on her previously, wednesday should go some way into making things even.
that’s the saddest form of optimism i’ve ever encountered, sharon
here’s what i look like when someone takes a picture of me midsentence but also while i’m wrapped in toilet paper
acardcalledhope said: Omfg I can’t breathe
yeah i got up all unsteady and was all like “AIGHT WHO JUST SUCKERPUNCHED ME, STEP ON UP SO I CAN WRECK YOUR FACE”
but it turns out that the one who hurt me was…ME
it would’ve been very symbolic and sad if it hadn’t taken place in a bouncehouse at a child’s birthday party
what is my life
one time, irresponsible usage of a children’s bouncehouse resulted in me catapulting my own knee into my own face.
it was so sudden that i truly believed for a split second after impact that someone else hit me and i was trying to figure out who it was even as i fell over
this was one or two years ago. that was the last time i gave myself a bloody nose.
ehhhhh i may have left a subpar impression because i invited her to a thing only after she invited me to a thing
but in truth it wasn’t a reactionary or reciprocal thing. if she knew me better she’d understand that, for example, i thought today was wednesday so i missed out on something else entirely—that’s how shitty my grasp of time and other peoples’ schedules has become.
on the other hand, though she’d know not to take it personally, she’d also realize how socially atrophied i am (it’s seriously to the point of solipsism through sheer force of imperceptiveness on an unrivaled magnitude).
i wouldn’t waste a whole lot of time on me—granted, that’s because i have the luxury of continuing, against all odds, to maintain a number of friendships and somehow cultivate the interests of new people, so i’m not as socially-starved as i believe i could and possibly should be
but that in actuality doesn’t matter a whole lot. i just invited her to a thing that’s tomorrow. pretty abrupt and rushed, but that’s just me setting an unfavorable pattern to our interactions. good job, me.
"I worked at the same cafe for 28 years, but it just went out of business, so I had to find new work. Before it was like I had a family. I saw the same people every day. But now I just have a job. One day you lose something, and you say: ‘Oh my God. I was happy. And I didn’t even know it.’"
Blessed Battle Sister by Frost7
(Source: italdred, via jayjayloveish)